This is a guest post by Aryssa, a family coach who works with parents and kids.
It may not feel like a big deal to you but it’s a big deal for me!
Child: I fell over in school today and hurt myself.
Parent: Oh really, these things happen, it’s not a big deal. Now what would you like for dinner?
This may seem like a harmless everyday conversation and you know what, you’re right!
However, for your child it looks a little different.
Here your child is trying to communicate that he or she fell over and they want you to show compassion.
However, your casual response may indicate that their emotions are not valid and that you have more pressing things on your mind like – What to cook for dinner.
In your mind, you probably don’t want to make a “big deal” out of it and move forward.
However, your child may want you to ask more questions so he or she can tell you what they are thinking and feeling.
It could be that your child tripped and everyone started laughing which made them feel embarrassed OR It could be that he or she was pushed which is what caused them to fall.
Who said parenting was easy?
Our role as parents is to be conscious of all of the things our children are saying as well as all the things which they aren’t.
When we move on to talk about something else, they interpret that as “mum doesn’t understand me”, “dad isn’t listening to what I’m saying” or worse “my parents don’t care”! When of course you do!
Imagine you are talking to a friend about something that really upset you and they switch the conversation to talk about something else, how would it make you feel? The same is true of a child; only they are likely to be a lot more sensitive and take actions literally because of their level of understanding.
So, I invite you to be conscious when your child is talking to you and try not to brush them off. The more you connect with them, the closer your bond will be!
About the writer:
Aryssa is a family coach who works with parents and children to support them with their daily struggles. Her work is recognised for being fun and thought provoking. She creates a shift in mindset so individuals feel connected and inspired to live with positivity in this ever changing world. You can visit her website www.ryssdom.com and connect with her n Instagram here.